The first time I know that I know I heard the Holy Spirit speaking inside of me was early one Saturday morning while I was in physical therapy school. I had been praying about a particular circumstance in my life for several weeks. That particular morning, I rolled over, looked at the ceiling and said out loud, “what am I going to do?”

Softly, but so clearly I heard, “Lean not on your own understanding.” I sat straight up in bed, then rushed into the kitchen where my host was preparing breakfast. Breathless, I exclaimed, “He just spoke to me!” She grinned and asked, “What did He say?”

As I shared what I heard, we both agreed that this was a scripture. So, she retrieved a concordance (back then there wasn’t such as thing as internet) and we did a word search. Our inquiry led us to Proverbs 3:5:

“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; lean not on your own understanding.”

I was thrilled! My host and I had been on a walk through her family’s beautiful ranch land the previous evening. As we meandered through the tall oak trees and the vast prairie grasses, I asked her about hearing God. “How do you know that you have heard Him? What does He sound like?” In her kind, motherly way, Tommy encouraged me to rest and to trust – I would know when it was Him.

She was so right!!

Over breakfast that morning, we talked about this verse and what it meant to me / for me. She encouraged me that this was now “my verse.”

Fast forward 29 years later…….. this is still my life verse. An anchor for my soul in each and all of life’s seasons and circumstances. A priceless treasure in my walk with Jesus.

In the autumn of 1998, I recognized I was seeing the word “trust” repeatedly. From the church bulletin, to bill boards, songs on the radio, and devotional topics. This caught my attention and I began to ponder what the word really meant.

So, back to the concordance I went, spending hours over several weekends exploring the word through the scriptures of both the Old and New Testaments, as well as Webster’s dictionary. I had notes and context written out as I sought to understand what trust really looked like.

On one Saturday evening – papers all around me – I asked myself, “Well, based upon all of this, what / who do I really trust?”

Interestingly – based upon the criteria of my search for the meaning of trust – I could come up with only one thing in that moment that I truly trusted. . . . that the sun would come up in the east each morning.

I looked up into the air and said, out loud, “Well, this means I don’t trust You. So we have a problem.”

Being honest with myself, and with God, allowed space to explore the why behind my lack of trust and created fertile ground in my heart for growth. I wanted to trust Him. I asked Him to show me how.

As my heavenly Father, my Savior, my King, and my Friend, we continue this life journey of ever-growing and deepening trust in His unfailing Love.

Each day – and sometimes moment by moment – this is choice. Ultimately, do I trust Him? Or do I lean on my own understanding?

There is no failure…. there is only learning as we walk with Him.